As you can see from my posts, I didn’t spring from a well of emotional stability and health.  Not surprisingly, I married another creature who also sprang from a similar source of dysfunction and despair.  I have since spent the last two decades trying to create a well of emotional stability and health for my offspring.

Two years ago, my husband and I packed up and moved almost 1500 miles away from our families of origin.  For us, it was the best thing we ever did.  For our families of origin, it’s the worst thing we ever did.

This Christmas and last, the gifts come as they always do, explosive with subtext. Obviously, I really pissed both my mother and my husband’s mother off this year from the gifts they sent.

First, my parents sent me nothing for Christmas.  They didn’t send anything for either my husband nor I for Christmas.  They sent my two older children each a video game and my youngest a building toy.

In order to put the lack of gifts in context, you have to understand that my parents have considerable financial wealth.  Wealth as in they purchased my former brother in law a life size bust of Spiderman which cost $500 for Christmas kind of wealth. Wealth as in when said brother in law filed for divorce, my parents went out and bought my sister a house kind of resources.

Also it should be noted that my husband got fired from his six figure job at the beginning of November, an announcement that I shared with them.  Their response was, “We’re tapped out!  We can’t give you any money.”

I wasn’t asking for money.  I was really seeking emotional support which is unrealistic, I know.

I don’t even really want lavish presents.  It’s just hard.  Hard to hear them call and talk about all the toys they’re buying for my sister and her best friend’s kids…. hard to have them buy her a house and then claim they’re broke…. hard to open a box from them with less than $100 in gifts.